An Open Letter To My Dom

This has sat as a draft, only partially completed.  I decided, that now is the time I want to say it.  I am at that point in my journey….

Dear Daddy,

Over 3 years ago, this journey started.  It started with few expectations but grew into something much larger on the parts of each of us.  There was something right away.  Something that made me comfortable and allowed the trust to begin.

The lessons I have learned are too numerous to count, but are very evident in all aspects of my life.  The breathe I take is the result of lessons learned at the hand of my Daddy.  He has allowed me to be me, He has shaped me into a person I am finally comfortable to say I am proud of.  He has molded me in a way that made me the better me, but oddly, still the same me.  It’s really an incredible thing.

For someone to desire to know your true person, to stay with you when you faulter, when you are weak and when you are scared, speaks volumes about the core of your Dom.  He wants me to be a strong and confident submissive, which I now am.

Our path together has not been an easy one.  And the last year has been trying.  He has dealt with some rather scary things, but He allowed me to be a part of it, He opened up to me, let me in and allowed me to see a vulnerable side of Him.  He allowed me to see a few dings in my Daddy’s armour.

Although I hope He never has to experience another year like 2016, part of me is thankful for it.  It has shown me what I really am to Him, how much He trusts me, how much He cares for me and how much He needs me.  Our relationship became stronger in the struggles.  

I am now a part of Him.  This permanent collar shows that.

I keep my collar visible, as often as I can.  See, in addition to my submissive life with Him, I have a vanilla life as well.

One thing I have come realize recently is how truly intertwined they are.  I used to feel I was only His submissive at times, it has become evident over the past years, that I am His at all times.  Every thing I do in my vanilla life is directly connected to my sub life.  In fact, the decisions and actions I take in my vanilla life and so that I can maintain and enjoy my sub life with Him.

No longer do I yearn for the things I cannot have with Him.  Now I celebrate all the wonderful things I do with Him.  In a recent conversation we talked about some of the crazy things we have done.  They were fun, without a doubt.  But the real important things to me are a hike, a seated dinner at a restaurant, a hug after good medical news for Him, the first typed I Love You, a single rose, being told I am beautiful… The list really goes on and on.  But those things, those things are from a deep place inside Him.  

There are other darker things as well.  My time in my sub space.  That’s another very important thing to me.  It’s my calming place and I can only achieve that with Him and only Him.

His words and His touch.  That is what matters the most.  Without a doubt.

I have never known anyone like Him.  I would never believe this could happen to me.  That I could grow like this, as his submissive. He is a great man, and I have been lucky to have been chosen to belong to Him.  

I used to think we were in a good place when things were going smooth.  I was wrong.  We are in a place that has no label, a place that has no definition.  Because there is no possible  way there is anything else like this.  This is deeper and stronger than anyone can express. All one can do is feel it and know it to be true.  That’s what I know.  I know this is true.  I know He is true.  

That’s all I need.  Him.  And He needs me, I can see it in His eyes and I hear it in His words.  

They say you know your destiny when you see it.  I like my view.  

Your baby girl

My Bucket List

I have had this list since the beginning.  I knew almost immediately this was the Dom, He was the one I had waited for.   A list started to form in my head, my ‘Oh My God I want to do this with Him’ list.  I thought for awhile some could happen, I checked off swimming with him right away.  One of my favorite days with Him to be completely honest.

But I quickly began to realize that was not going to be the case.   Regardless of how close we would become, there was a list of things I wanted to do with Him, but would really never come to pass.

Simple things really.  Sex in the shower, making Him dinner, watching a football game together, going to a movie, shopping for a cool bra, getting flowers….  Simple but not within my reach.

I almost had one happen, and without knowing it, I lost it.  Simple really, a movie.  I cried off and on for a couple of days. I was heartbroken over something as simple as a movie.  

I battled within myself, just give up on it.  Know your place and appreciate what you have.  I did not give up, I just decided to guard my heart a bit.  

He means the world to me.  I cannot imagine my life without Him in it, and I cannot let little things like this get in the way.  I am His.  He chose me.  My little and simple desires should not get in our way.

I am His submissive.  What makes Him happy makes me happy.